A year ago today, I can vividly remember exactly what I was doing and who I was with and the situation that I was in… and believe me at that moment I could not even fathom where I would be one year later.  I was in such a bad predicament, that I don’t even think I could look as far as three days or a week.  This year’s Thanksgiving is very special… I am at a place in my life of contentedness and fulfillment that I have not felt for a while and everything in my life makes ridiculous sense!  I am so thankful for many things but these 20 people and memories were vital to this year’s survival… I never stood alone and had all of you right beside me every single step of the way in Faith and Friendship.

Before you start reading, please click the PLAY Button… Some of you might not care for this song, but I’ve always loved it… this song came up on shuffle while I was writing this and it brought to the forefront of my mind, that although this is a love song… I really do feel this way for every single one of you…I know that you will always be there for me as you have been… and I know that regardless of what happens, YOU KNOW MY INTENTIONS and YOU KNOW that I will never fail you… You know that I will be here for you at a drop of a dime…I wish I could hold onto all of you forever even if we all intertwine in each other’s lives for a certain purpose or a moment in time… but I must thank you all for fulfilling my life in more ways than I could ever imagine… [if you are reading this on Facebook, please click on this link chrysantha.wordpress.com]

I just want you close
Where you can stay forever
You can be sure
That it will only get better
You and me together
Through the days and nights
I don’t worry ’cause
Everything’s going to be alright
When the rain is pouring down
And my heart is hurting
You will always be around
This I know for certain

1.  I am so thankful for the unconditional LOVE of my family.  My soul and foundation.  Without them I am nothing.  I am thankful that my Mother, continues to be the ROCK of my Family.  I am thankful for her strength and LOVE for every single one of us… She truly is the Individual who holds my entire family together.  It is her everyday struggle to ensure that we are all taken care of.  [Photo taken on Grandma's 98th Bday - The de Peralta Women L2R Ophelia, Cornelia, Grandma, Mildred, Archelita]

2.  I am thankful that after all of our hard work, the Family Business, that Grandpa would be so very proud of is up and running.

3.  Monica, I am so thankful for your unconditional love and support from DAY ONE!  And no joke, because you walked in a time of my life that was not so pretty, and you stood by me every single tear of the way to see me smile and hear me laugh every night before we go to bed!  You understand me and know how I feel or find the words for thoughts that I have not even thought of yet! Thank you for loving my brother unconditionally… you do not know how much that means to me… And thank you for always looking out for my family too! [Photo taken on one of our first Azul Dates, when I first moved back! remember the guy that kept pestering us if 'someone is in the bathroom?' lol]

4.  Pinsan Ashlee, I am so thankful for your love, understanding, and laughter!  I don’t know how I would have come out of the last three years and specifically the last Fall and Spring without you.  Although we no longer talk everyday, know that you always have a special place in my heart.  You are my soul’s constant gardener. [Photo Taken - January - Other than the fact that the first photo is with you in front of my FAVOURITE theatre in the world, this day is my favorite memory of you, of Us... Our drive through Tilden listening to Marley... You've brought so much soul to my Life that is irreplaceable... and we ended it with MANPUKU - what a perfect day! ]

5. Teri Anne, I am so thankful that after 12 years we are still best of friends.  I am thankful that you were able to come visit this year and I had the fortune to finally meet Jaden.  You are one of the strongest women I know, I continue to look up to you and draw strength from your daily courage. [Photo: Taken April 9th - Teri, Jaden, Auntie Faye - and LOL to you taking the photo with me pushing the stroller... yeah, the one and only 'Mommy-like' photo of me EVER!]

6. After almost 10 years, I thank God for finally bringing Nahwal and I together.  We began this summer sitting at Ocean Beach sharing our stories of heartache.  Within a month, with each other’s love, support, and “tell-it-like-it-is” attitude, we haven’t looked back ever since.  This summer would have been incomplete without you!  I have so many favorite memories of us, but I must share with you that the night (8/15) we fell asleep in the car in East Oakland and woke up on the 16th of August… I needed that Nahwal, more than you probably ever knew… you allowed me to wake up that morning at the Lake… my soul needed that to heal some hurt I still carried with me… and I love you for allowing me to.. then to top that day off.. Ghostface/Meth/Red… =)  ‘Like this Like this’… [Photos taken on our #1 Happiest Ocean Beach day ever, #2 on 8/16 Oakland, and #2 on 8/16 Minna - Meth/Red/Ghostface concert to celebrate your entrance to RT school]

7. I am thankful that my Grandmother celebrated her 98th Birthday this year!  Grandma we love you!  [photo taken on her 98th Birthday L2R: Brother, Grandma, Me]

8. Makai, you are my BROTHER.  Words cannot explain the love I have for you.  You appreciate, encourage, and unconditionally love me for everything that I am and everything that I am not.  We are going on three years and I am so thankful you are in my life.   This year, I also thank you for introducing me to Jen! [Photo taken at Meesh & B's wedding - YOU MAKE THE PERFECT WEDDING DATE!]

9. Miss JennyLowLow, I am so thankful that you entered my life this year.  Thank you for being genuine, understanding, loving, and strong.  Thank you for allowing me in your life when your Dad was ill and sharing in in his memory.  I know that everyday he looks down on you and is so proud of the Woman you have become – as I am proud of you… I am thankful for our L.A. roadtrip which put life in so much perspective for me.  I love you and I cannot wait to see what the rest of the year has in store for us. [1st Photo taken the night we met at the Beat Battle & I am so thankful that we did ... in so many ways you are the sister I never had! 2nd Photo from our beloved LA trip.]

10. Mochi, I thank you for your unconditional love.  We went through so much these last few years but you were always there to make me smile and show me love.  You have accepted me even when I was being down right retarded with the choices I was making with my life.  I could do no wrong in your eyes… I think you always knew I’d wake up and eventually fix my mistakes.  I love you and I hope you love your new home my Lil’  Mama! [Photo Taken this past September]

11. I met you when I was 18! wow… and Vikki, after all this years, I am so glad that you are still in my life, and if anything we have become so much closer.  I am so happy that you are happy!  You deserve the BEST in this world!  Also, thank you for introducing me to one of my favorite memories of this year, our camping trips… all because of Lucas! The both of you have brought so much LAUGHTER in my Life and thank you for letting me FEED YOU and your Families!  Thank You to the both of you for two priceless memories this year!!! [Photos taken on our first Bodega  Bay trip of the Year!]

12. I am Thankful for reaching another year in Remission after last summer’s scare and for reminding me not to take my health forgranted!  I am thankful that everyday I see the blue of the sky and every night I am able to enjoy the twinkle of the stars.  I am thankful that my toes can sink in the grain of sand and feel the cool of the ocean water on my skin.  I am thankful that I am alive and full of love FOR and love FROM so many people.  Lastly I am thankful for my friend, Halline who spent my remission day with me with two of my favorite things Japanese Food (Manpuku) and Baseball.  You have to know how happy and difficult it is for me everytime 9/11 comes around every year… thank you for sharing it with me.

13. I am thankful for Tomas Alvarez walking into my life… It is very rare that I am blessed with people as soulful, aware, full of love, and purposeful intention.  In only a few months you have helped me find the balance I’ve been lacking in my nursing career by giving me a positive outlet to share my Light. Thank you for also recognizing and acknowledging the Little Things that you do… and I cannot be more grateful to all of the beautiful people that have entered my life because of you! [Photo #1 taken at BRL Anniv Party @ Club 6 / Photo #2 taken at Lake County, BRL Retreat *John's face looks like that because while we are waiting for the timer to go off, I didn't know that I was crushing his already injured finger with my feet, but he stayed silent like a trooper! LOL* / Photo #3 taken at the Cultural Comptency Summit at Hyatt on 11/17]

14. I am thankful that the stars brought me and Jaseon together… another Soul Survivor who truly understands what it means to be One. Jaseon you remind me that I am not alone =) [Photo taken at Doin' it at the Park with our dope ass matching Fedoras!]

15. One of my favorite memories this year was celebrating Spring with Ashlee and “My Ladies“… Thankful for opening the Spring season of newness in Oakland with Pinsan. [Photo taken in Ashlee's Oakland Hill's home during Sunset, March 20th - Vernal Equinox]

16. Thankful for my wonderful birthday in Hawaii this year.  One of my favorite memories of this year was jumping of the Waimea rock.  Such a great experience… all of that adrenaline rushing through your body… fear, excitement, happiness all at once… You remember how ALIVE you are… and at the end you feel nothing but AMAZING!

17. I am thankful for my FreedomBirds, my one and only chosen tattoo for this year that I share with Pinsan and will forever connect us =) … and the day I made them I aimed you: “I AM FREE, SO ARE YOU and WITHOUT WORDS the Birds symbolize our goals and Forward Movement and Freedom FROM EXPECTATIONS”.  [Photo taken @ Ricky's Tattoo on March 15, 2009; Alameda]

18. I am thankful for Oakland.  You loved me in more ways than one this past year in my happiness, solitude, and in my despair.  You gave me a breeze when I could not catch my breath, you showered my winter nights with beautiful stars and warm air so that I could sleep in the comfort of the outdoors, you introduced me to the most caring strangers who reached out to help me when I could not help myself, you gave me the Lake to vent hours of thoughts, and you showed me the beauty of diverse people who unite time and time again striving to create a better community through music, art, and social justice. Oakland you held yourself up despite so much adversity this past year and I am proud.  [Photo #1 - A walk around Lake Meritt as the people began to gather at the courthouse in the wake of the Oscar Grant murder January 21. Photo #2 Oscar Grant Rally through the streets of Oakland January 23]

19.  Bear, Bear, Bear… we have come a long way from endless talks on my couch to drunken messed up nights and bitching about our exes… =0) I am so proud of you and all of your accomplishments.  I am so thankful for you Bear, probably more than anyone when I was in my horrible state last year… It was crazy… and you stood by me… with no criticsm only encouragement.  You NEVER LET ME FALL and you held me up every single step of the way… You are irreplaceable in my life… i truly miss our Dim Sum Sundays…!  [photo taken at Manpuku... one of my favorite nights with you... I love watching you eat!]

20. I am so very thankful for my beautiful home.  My family rests their hearts in a comfortable, gorgeous, peace inspiring house that we all deserve after a very difficult two years.   We were brought here as a family for a special reason…

21.  2 +1 = 3 … and Three, that’s my favorite number… We have an undeniable connection that even though we are at compete opposite edges of this country we manage to maintain a friendship like no other..  You and I are two very unique individuals and it has definitely been influenced to the way we were raised… There is NO ONE ELSE IN MY LIFE that can share the experience of growing up by the sea…  Germaine, I appreciate all of your LOVE for me… you tap into my soul like no other.  Like I’ve said before, I could only be so fortunate to find a man like you on my side of country… Happy Thanksgiving…

22.  Peeda… I am thankful for you because there is NO ONE ELSE that I KNOW that will GIVE AS MUCH as you do right from the get… I know that your friendship is unique in deed… You also entered my life at the beginning of the storm, and I was practically a stranger, but you reached your hand out and helped me without me ever asking… I am thankful that you are in my life you are a genuine friend.. and have always kept it real with me…

23.  I am thankful, for exactly a year ago, I woke up from a three year coma — I finally chose ME and left him.  Although it was a struggle here and there to finally rid myself of this disease an unhealthy addiction, it was a year ago that I finally took the initial steps so that I could stand up against the past and move onto a better future.  And I have never been happier and more content in my life.  But I am not angry, for you taught me what Love means and what it DOESN’T mean.  Through our relationship I saw the TRUE me… I saw the amazing things I failed to see about myself for so many years… You challenged me more than anyone ever has and through all of the hardship you caused, I rose from the depths of my despair and pain and blossomed into a person I could have never imagined myself to be.  I am STRONGER, WISER, and more APPRECIATIVE of the people around me because when I was with you I LOST SIGHT of SO MANY THINGS… specially ME.  I will never ever forget to LOVE ME FIRST ever again, and I thank you for teaching me that lesson.  Today I celebrate a year of being FREE.

In order these are my top three favorite crabs:

1. KONA CRAB
2. DUNGENESS CRAB
3. ROCK CRAB

But whatever crab it is, I will enjoy every single piece of sweet meat it has to offer!  I actually was allergic to crab as a young girl.  I used to sit at the table with a bottle of Benadryl and ate all the crab and shrimp I could while my mom stood back and watched in horror.  I eventually grew out of my allergy of both iodine-filled crustaceans and now I only have allergic reactions to Blue crab, which obviously did not make it to my top three!

I remember watching an old school episode of Martha Stewart as a teen on crabs.  She shucked them like a pro and I often fantasized about being able to shuck the perfect crab with all of its meat intact.  I know right?  Big Culinary Dreams for a 15 year old!  Rather than daydreaming about boys, I was daydreaming about shucking crab! My mom loved to cook for us, and she never complained about buying two fresh dungeness crabs for us whenever we asked for fresh crab sandwiches or crab cakes.  Mom was always glad to take some time out and de-meat the crab; and I guess that’s a huge reason why I love to do it too.

It’s crab season again and our home has been blessed with fresh, sweet, thick crab meat… and I am back at my crab shucking fantasy at least once or twice a week.. I am still perfecting my craft… My choice tool is my kitchen mallet… The technique and amount of pressure I am applying with every whack! is ALMOST perfect!

Today it took me 30 minutes to shuck all of these crab legs… I was aiming for 15… but I will try again next week… I am actually planning to do a Crab Boil for the next Beats Rhymes and Life meeting along with Crawfish if there are fresh ones at the market next Thursday!

This was today’s mission:

and by the way… if you’ve never had Kona Crab… get some because you are missing out… at least ONCE in this lifetime!

…. and here’s some other hardcore shots of other crab conquests!

On November 17^th and 18^th, the 2009 The County of San Mateo Behavioral Health and Recovery Services held the 16^th Cultural Competence & Mental Health Summit at the Hyatt Regency in Burlingame, California.  This year’s theme “Embracing Social Justice and Equity to Build Healthier Communities “ focuses on addressing impact of culture and language on the health disparities of our communities.  This event united over 500 service providers, health professionals, clients, consumers, community members, business leaders, educators, researchers and policy makers to address the impact of culture and promoting dialogue on strategies to build healthier communities.

During the second day of the conference, the Beats  Rhymes and Life youth performed a selection of songs from their album “The Grand Entrance”.  Tomas Alvarez introduced Beats Rhymes and Life with a compelling speech:

Culture is not limited to one’s ethnicity and when we talk about young people in particular, we need to look at what is youth culture… a conversation that needs to include Hip Hop which is one of the most pervasive cultures… around this world. What is important to recognize about Hip Hop is that it was created by youth and young adults in response to social conditions, adversity, and disparity.  And in the face of not having a lot of opportunities and resources, you had entire communities of young people create something beautiful out of very little, something that changed the world and also changed themselves in the process.

Tomas continued  to elaborate on how Hip Hop has aided entire communities to develop self esteem and purpose through the art of Hip Hop; connecting the significant need of service providers to partner with the youth culture.  Eloquently stating, “We need to invite the young people to the table. They have the solutions. They have the answers. We just need to give them the opportunity to speak their mind and have a voice”. Rob Jackson and DJ Haylow, artists of our community and also facilitators in the program were also invited to share the stage and give voice to the symbolism of the program for our youth and for the community.

The Beats Rhymes and Life Youth received a standing ovation from the audience and hosted a meet and greet after their performance, successfully selling their music and reaching out to the community through their music.

Observe the standing ovation after the youth perform “Minority Report”!

Thought I’d share some of the music that’s on repeat on my iTunes.  It is pretty random & eclectic but I do hope you enjoy! Every song strikes me in a different way and fits a different mood that I’ve been in lately.  Whether it be lyrics, a melancholy melody, or a beautiful guitar intro… you will probably find it here.

Chrisette Michelle – “Blame It on Me”

I ain’t a quiter
I just ain’t the type
I tried to see you through
I tried to make it to the finishing line
Every once in a while you think you figured it out
Sometimes your not right
Yes I love you but I really got to lose you
Freedom is where I want to be
Yes I’ll probably always love you
But I’m moving
I got to do this for me

BLU – “Untitled(Loved U)2″

See the way I feel about ‘chu is like nothin’ left without you
but I doubt you think its nothin’ more than game.
But the game is lame,
and the fame ain’t special since I met you, I have nothing more to gain.
‘Cept your love!
And harmony!
Who’s to say that I just can’t go and give you all of me?
Just relax your mind,
Ask some time, if you wanted me.

I love this song!  Blu’s tracks are always so soulful and melodic and this is my favorite track off of  Her Favorite Colo(u)r, his mixtape album that was released earlier in February.  I suppose you can call this a “break up album”.  But this is not your ordinary, in ultimate Blu fashion, it is seriously fresh, creative, and innovative; incorporating clips from indie films like Closer & Life Aquatic and samples from Billie Holiday, Radiohead, and Jummue Hendrix.  Ultimately I love his lyrics which fit the jazzy undertones like a glove.  He takes you on love’s journey after it has gone from sweet to sour.  But these tracks aren’t anywhere near depressing, but instead give of a feeling of accepting what love has ultimately become when it is all over whilst allowing you to reminisce a bit.  In “Amnesia” he samples Billie Holiday’s classic song “Am I Blue” and paints these vivid lyrics of lost love:

Blu – “Amnesia”

I used to have peace and serenity
teaching divinity
break bread, sippin’ the blood, eating with enemies
blind, pearl on my mind thinking we meant to be
this, that and a third
boy did I learn – tables turn…
homesick and i haven’t been home since…
blu heart, red skies
true art died in the heart of my mind
kept trying to fulfill this blank scrip of realness…
used to speak sweet with sympathy
tees to mimick me
sunshine every line you ever sent to me
heaven sent, heavenly sent the later crippled me…
shit simple men don’t learn
where is your empathy
couldn’t see the fork in the road.

 

Talib & DJ Hi-Tek – Love Language

It’s like one big mind game that everybody playin and
Niggas say bitches is trife, bitches say niggas is
We just don’t understand our fundamental differences
I’m still learning though, actually

L’amour n’a pas de, frontiere (Love has no boundaries)
Restes car je t’aime comme tu es (Stay because I love you as you are)
J’ai traverse l’ocean du verbe (I crossed an ocean of words)
Et je t’ai trouve (And I found you)

Women thrive on emotions, men refuse to acknowledge
So when we arguin nobody winnin’
Words get in the way time and again
Sticks and stones break your bones words break your heart
Whether you in touch with that part or not say “word”
Words are weapons for the revolutionary
Used for evil make the situation very scary
Word up, but love is brave
It flies in the face of fear

 

—–  these next tracks make me feel HAPPY —–

De Phazz – “Kiss Me”

The Roots – “Star/Pointro”

Dilla – “Mythsysizer”

NUJABES – “Peaceland”

U-N-I – “Beautiful Day”

—– this inspires me to pick up my Guitar and play it! —-

BJORK – “So Broken”

Here I go
Trying to run ahead of that,
Heart break train,
Thinking,
It will never catch up with me.
I’m trying to land,
This airplane of ours gracefully,
But it seems just destined to crash.
I’m so broken.

If you haven’t seen the live version of this song on Youtube you will appreciate the song a lot more.  Some folks might think she looks completely insane in the live performance but I see it as an artist in a trance and feeling the depth of her song.  The guitar accompaniment is beautiful and is a constant reminder of how I need to learn how to play like -  YESTERDAY!

Tsuru: The Japanese Crane

Throughout history, birds have been viewed as animals of special value and have been endowed with meanings often drawn from legends and stories that have endured over many generations.

For the Japanese, the crane—or tsuru—is considered a national treasure, appearing in art, literature, and folklore. The Japanese regard the crane as a symbol of good fortune and longevity because of its fabled life span of a thousand years. It also represents fidelity, as Japanese cranes are known to mate for life. Over time, the crane has also evolved as a favorite subject of the Japanese tradition of paper folding—origami—as children and adults attempt to master this art.

Shortly after the end of World War II, the folded origami cranes came to symbolize a hope for peace through Sadako Sasaki and her unforgettable story of perseverance. Diagnosed with leukemia after being exposed to radiation after the bombing of Hiroshima, Sadako became determined to reach a goal of folding 1,000 cranes in hopes of being rewarded with health, happiness, and a world of eternal peace. Although she died before reaching her goal, the tradition of sending origami cranes to the Hiroshima memorial has endured as a symbol of the Japan’s ongoing wish for nuclear disarmament and world peace.

Yay [explore - Jul 30, 2009 #81]